Moving into a new big city can be wonderful and challenging. The fun part comes in when you expose yourself to all the fun options a big city offers. The challenging part has to do with experiencing your new life alone. Big cities are mostly busy and densely populated, but loneliness creeps in almost every corner if you’re a newcomer with no friends around.
You’re no longer within walking distance of those you know back home, and you have to deal with your transition alone. That is enough to stir up a few unwanted feelings, particularly loneliness. While cities like Liverpool are fun, studies show that people living in dense UK cities are more likely to feel lonely. That is a bummer, as big cities have pretty much everything you need to not feel isolated and alone.
So, did you just move into a new city and tired of feeling alone? Use these tips to break free from your loneliness.
1. Bring your indoor activities outside
One of the easiest ways to avoid feeling alone in a big city is to bring all the indoor activities you love outside. This point may not sound clever until you actually give it a try. For example, if you love listening to music, reading, writing, or painting, take them outside. You can grab a picnic blanket, load up on your favorite books, create your ideal playlist, grab a few snacks, and head outside to a local park. You’ll find others like you just spending their time alone, which should help you shake off your lonely feelings. And what if you can’t head outside? What if it’s too cold or raining outside? You can go to a local cafe or bookstore instead. You’re bound to bump into at least one or two people when outside; do your best to start a simple conversation with them.
2. Start speaking with the closest ones around you
Whether you just moved into a busy city apartment complex, a quiet neighbourhood, or even a hotel, you’ll find ample opportunities to speak with people around you and make some friends. You never know; your next best friend or connection could be closer to you than you think. So, instead of locking yourself up all day or ghosting past people in the neighbourhood, start speaking with the closest ones around you. A simple “hi” to your next-door neighbour can do the trick. Flashing a charming smile at someone you always walk past can initiate a solid friendship. Complimenting someone in your neighbourhood can also spark a conversation. The point is, you’ll hardly be able to connect with someone in your new location if you’re not willing to take a chance. Similarly, if someone smiles at you or says “hello” to you, don’t hesitate to reply. However, you must be careful about being too welcoming with just anyone you meet. Take your time to observe people for a while before taking chances with them.
3. Make the most of your interactions
Speaking with others won’t always relieve loneliness. That means simply saying hi to or speaking with the closest people around will not always work. Instead, make the most of all your interactions. Remember that the quality of your interactions matters more than the number of people you’re able to speak with. That is one of the main reasons why many people feel lonely in crowded big cities. Because they focus more on making many friends instead of connecting with a few.
4. Sign up for a speed dating event
If you’re feeling lonely and need a little bit of fun and romance in your life, consider signing up for a speed dating event. This is an event format organised to help single people meet and interact with each other. It’s fun and eliminates the stressful process of going on a regular date. Plus, you’ll get to meet lots of amazing people in one event. It’s all about meeting people in a relaxed and friendly environment, even if you’re not ready for a serious date.
Speed dating is also fast-paced (hence its name), so you’ll be able to connect with several people, some of whom can become lasting friends. You’ll also be free from all the safety concerns of going on a regular date, especially with someone you don’t know. Speed dating is mostly held in public places and arranged and hosted by trusted companies or groups. A good example is DateinaDash. So you don’t have to worry about your safety if it’s your first time in a new city. Also, you’ll have to book in advance to attend. If it sounds like fun, find out if you can find any speed dating events in your city and sign up.
5. Don’t feel pressured to do anything
It’s really easy to feel like you have to say yes to any opportunity that presents itself when you’re lonely. That is particularly true if you feel you have a limited social life in your new city. But the last thing you want is to feel pressured to do anything, especially things you’re not comfortable with, just so that you’re not lonely. Regardless of how you feel, it’s important to stay true to who you are so you don’t get pushed into activities you’re not interested in when you find yourself in a new place. For example, don’t allow yourself to be dragged to a rave if you’re not into fringe theatre. Also, don’t force yourself to become ‘besties’ with the first people you say hi to. You’ll only come off as needy and attention-seeking, which can turn people off.
6. Find a new routine
If you spend most of your hours sauntering around your new home without anything particular to do, loneliness will easily overwhelm you. But if you have an activity-packed routine each day, you’ll find that time will fly without even realising it. One of the biggest ways you can ward off loneliness in an overwhelming city is to create and stick to a basic routine. Start by planning out all your days, from when you wake up from bed until you’re ready to sleep. Decide on small but engaging tasks you can depend on daily and fix them into your free periods. They might not be fun and exciting, but they can be more comforting than you might expect.
7. Spend time in nature
Remember the earlier point about bringing your favourite activities outside? Even if you have no such activities, you can still head outside. The change in environment can be all the distraction your mind needs to drown any feeling of loneliness. Plus, getting outside can easily put you in the path of others, increasing your chances of meeting new and good people. But instead of heading outside with no particular destination in mind, spend time in nature. You can search the directions to parks or beaches close to you and spend time there. Studies have shown that spending quality time surrounded by nature can boost your mood and help you ward off the feeling of loneliness.
8. Go on a date with your new city
Since you’re in a new location, you probably have a lot of exploring to do. So, why not go on a date with your new city and get to know ‘her’ more? You’ll realise that the more you immerse yourself in your new city’s culture and experience its offerings, the less lonely you’ll feel. Whether it’s visiting museums, experiencing nightlife, checking out the best spots, or enjoying various delicacies, touring your new city is another great way you can avoid getting lonely.
Even if you feel like you have nowhere to go, you can just go for a walk or hop on a bus to enjoy some sightseeing. These are great ways to explore your new city. Of course, this is only a short-term option, but it will do you a lot of good. You can also visit your local gym, which leads to the next point.
9. Head over to your local gym or join a sports group
Exercising helps keep you healthy, and getting out of the house can improve your mood and help you avoid getting lonely. Now you have the chance to kill two birds with one stone by going to the gym – meeting people and improving your health. You can easily make new friends by visiting the gym as often as possible.
Even if you’re not a fan of gyms, you can consider joining running groups, cycling teams, or other sports groups, depending on what’s available in your location. But please consider sports activities you’re interested in or enjoy so the entire experience does not feel like torture. If you love watersports, for example, look for local clubs related to related to watersport activities to join. This way, you’ll have fun, meet new people, and avoid getting lonely.
10. Update your social media location
Various social media platforms allow you to connect with people in your new city. You can easily find friends around you if you update your profile with your current location. This tip is also helpful for dating apps too. When you update your online location, you can easily search for ‘new friends’ in your current location. However, social media platforms and dating apps are not always safe, so please be careful about this option.
